Eminem - Offended Lyrics

You claim if you get knocked by the cops
You'll give 'em not even a statement
Walk in the arraignment, shoot the bailiff
Karate kick the plaintiff
Gotti with the stainless
I'll just call the shotty entertainment
If y'all was in the party gettin' faded
On molly, had the audience sedated
You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted
Probably let it fall and hit the pavement
But you'd be the first lobbyin' to claim it
Bitch, stop bein' a lame
Your hobby is in robbery and dismemberin' body limbs
Like you was Tommy Lynn Sells
And chainsawing them in the basement
Hardly fits your job description
Ain't nobody dippin' out the back of
the club like, "Oh my God, he's trippin'"
Only time you get the blade is probably
with the dang lawn equipment, ain't it?
Wouldn't take a bobby pin and wave it
I need to stop bein' debated
You're still copyin', Xeroxing, I'm still coppin' a feel
Like Bill Cosby at will,
popping a pill then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee
Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil' wobbly and still groggy
This blonde fucks reprehensible misconducts, never sensible
Kiss my butt, my set of principles is gone
But 'til I get the President to respond
My pen and pencil is a missile launcher
And send it to Mitch McConnell
Just as big of a bitch it's Donald
Shit's on, bruh
Let me sing this shit soprano
While I do it pizzicato
Ivanka, stiff arm her
While I'm hittin' on Melania
And this song's for all ya

'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms
I hope you offended
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I'ma make you eat your words
I hope you offended
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
'Cause you're only gonna make things worse
I hope you offended
'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up
'Til everybody eats my turds

These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me
Like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery
Goin' ham at candy yam on nanny cam
I'm gettin' handys with the [?], Xannys in the Caddy armrest
I'm imagining objects, so I'm batting cobwebs
From a daddy longleg
And [?], got the panoramic camera
Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat
I'm smellin' like a damn mechanic
With a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent
Twice your age and I'm actin' half it
Grow up? Nah
Not that I know of, y'all
Basement just got a frickin' overhaul, got a stripper pole installed
Started rollin' all through those Kolonopins like a bowlin' ball
Like an overdose on twice the ratio
of Propofol and go through no withdrawal
While I get fellatio and give a facial to
an interracial blow-up doll and Rachel Dolezal
You're so appalled, so's my manager
Bitch I'm amateur, fuck a pro career
Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here
And nobody's close, so don't compare
They ain't nowhere near, I'm way over here
My competition can't see me
'Cause I don't own a mirror
But Marshall, you are terrific, so smart and gifted
I'm so narcissistic, when I fart, I sniff it
Do a fake dab to smell my armpits with it
Your anxiety's throwin' gang signs
But I made strides with these raid blinds
I'm cuttin' back on women hate crimes
Like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes
Bang, bang, bang, bang time
Dang knives to butcher them gay wives
You couldn't ea