okkervil river – it ends with a fall lyrics

wish i could remember why it mattered to me.
it doesn’t matter to me.
it doesn’t matter to me anymore.
now that you’re feeling fine,
i’ll admit that – though i know it’s coming down,
and see it shattering me – it doesn’t matter to me,
and i’m not sadder for seeing it come.
i’m not going to run.
i will just come when i am called.
you want to cut me off
because i took too much,
but don’t leave me alone.
take off your scarves, your winter coat.
the night’s too cold.
when we met i should have said
you’re like a sister to me,
how all that kiss her just seem
like puny suitors i can see through,
how none will do, not for you,
it might as well just be us two.
and when i pulled you by the jacket
from the clattering street,
you started flattering me,
you started saying i was so strong.
string me along, but i can’t become all that i’m called.
and i can’t claim to know
what makes love die or grow,
but i can still take control
and so refuse to just go home,
back down the hall.
and as i crawl,
as finally all the false confetti blooms up in this attic room,
i’m going make my stand.
i want to see both of your hands put down the phone.
i won’t let you go,
although the moment stole my self-control
from us all and now it can only end with a fall.

- okkervil river lyrics