The Queens Cunt Lyrics

I've been to Billericay and I’ve been to Frinton-on-sea
It's so fucking posh there, they're not allowed to have a chippy
I have been to Brentwood and I’ve wandered through Orsett
It is so upmarket they even pick up their dogshit

I've driven through Belgravia and once got lost in Mayfair
But there's one place posher than any of these and I'll never get to go there

The Queen's cunt, the Queen's cunt
It's not the kind of cunt that you might see when you are drunk
The Queen's cunt, the Queen’s cunt
It’s not the kind of cunt where you be allowed to spunk

If one's going to drink from the furry cup
One has to hold one’s finger up

The Queen's cunt must be impressive, just like her home, Buck House
I bet it's never stunk of fish and never seen a louse
It's got grade two listed pissflaps and a preserving order on her clit
I bet her muff gets a regular trim from a man who’s paid to do it
The Queen's cunt's too posh to have a cock in so one of her servants applied
Some silken gloves to hold her fuckflaps apart while a butler wanked Philip inside
These days no one can get near it, that's why Prince Philip's got blue balls
The only thing allowed up it is a dildo made of jewels

The Queen's cunt, the Queen's cunt
It's the poshest place in Britain, I say that without a doubt
The Queen's cunt, the Queen's cunt
You have to suck a peppermint if you're going to lick it out

The Queen's cunt, the Queen's cunt
It's not the kind of cunt you'd ever get to shunt
The Queen's cunt, the Queen's cunt
Apparently it's etiquette to view it from the front